


safe with me, safe with you

by mymphr



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Mental Health Issues, Psychosis, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-08-04 19:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymphr/pseuds/mymphr
Summary: eddie brock is depressed, dysfunctional, and mildly psychotic. somehow having a symbiote make his body and brain its home... helps.do we still call these drabbles? this will be a series of fairly short vignettes of eddie having bad mental health times and venom tryna help.tumblr: http://rat-men.tumblr.com/





	1. whiskey

**Author's Note:**

> dialogue between eddie and venom will be shown with eddie in italics and venom in bold, so i dont have to tell you who is saying what every damn line
> 
> also: i'm using he/him pronouns for venom bc he took eddie's gender [who btw is trans] not because he's a man, venom doesn't have gender venom is a symbiote but eddie is a man and venom wants to be addressed like eddie. it's also confusing to use they/them for venom whilst he is with eddie cos i need to refer to them as plural sometimes and yah u get it

**_2.33am, San Francisco_ **

 

Night never truly falls in the city. Darkness hides in the corners of quiet rooms, and in the shadows behind the dumpsters. Bright, white, artificial light streams through blinds and car windows, makes the stars disappear, illuminates drunken faces. Voices trickle from the streets into homes, strangers’ lives tangling into unknowing dreams.

Off-white sheets were taped to the windows of Eddie Brock’s apartment. Light made itself known, softly diffusing through the white sheets, but streaming in through the gaps in the duct tape. The shutter blinds that came with the apartment had never done a good enough job. 

Eddie was sprawled on the cold laminate floor, a sheet wrapped around him and over his head. He rocked, ever so slightly, with each deep, shaky breath. His face stayed pressed, through the blanket, into the floor.

Venom was curious. He hadn’t ever felt Eddie feel so… strange before. He was shaky, confused, his heart racing. Venom didn’t like it. It felt like when they were fighting. He silently slid into material form, just his head, next to Eddie’s.

 

**what’s wrong eddie?**

 

_wish i knew_

 

**you’re scared**

 

_well i know that dude_

 

Eddie turned on his side and curled up tight, head almost touching his knees. He took a deep breath.

 

**why are you scared?**

 

_not sure. stuff in my brain._

 

**i’m in your brain**

 

_yeah but… not you. other stuff. stuff before you. i think._

 

**bad stuff?**

 

Eddie didn’t respond.

 

**bad stuff…**

 

Eddie nodded.

They were both silent for a moment, Eddie still trying to calm down, analysing his own thoughts. Venom tried to feel out what was happening in Eddie’s brain. It was messy and confusing but it always was. The mess now felt less like a familiar garbage tip and more like being dropped into a filthy abandoned hospital in the dark. Venom didn’t really feel _fear_ but… it made him uneasy.

He wordlessly slid under the sheet covering Eddie and formed around him like a blanket, two half-formed eyes gazing up towards his face.

 

_do you… can you hear the things in my head?_

 

Venom was quiet. He tried to listen.

 

[fuckin breathe - piece of sh - why why why - fucking do it - stop! stop! - do somethi- bad - stop it - pussy bitch do it - pills and pills and p- bad! stop-]

 

He stopped trying to listen. He could still hear it.

 

**i hear lots of things in your head, eddie**

 

_yeah, me too._

 

**what do they mean?**

 

Eddie huffed.

 

_they want me to die._

 

Venom immediately tightened around him, a quiet growl coming from somewhere around Eddie’s torso.

 

**you will not die!**

 

_alright. i know._

 

Venom loosened his grip around Eddie’s body. He listened again to the voices and began to understand.

 

**why are you scared?**

 

Silence.

 

**no need to be scared eddie. we are venom. we can win any fight.**

 

To make his point, he slid out from under the sheet and stood up in humanoid form, making himself look at threatening as possible. Eddie gazed up at him and nodded.

 

_i know, V._

 

Venom melted into a puddle on the floor and slid back over to cover Eddie.

 

**safe.**

 

_thanks._

 

**need something?**

 

_drink._

 

Almost as soon as he'd said it, Venom had shot out a hand and slid a bottle of whiskey across the floor. It stopped an inch short of Eddie's arm. Eddie grinned and unscrewed it, sitting up to take a sip. Venom reformed around his torso and head into more of a hoodie shape. He liked the way alcohol made them feel. Warm and tired and strong. Eddie liked that even if he got totally and completely fucked, Venom would get him home and into bed. Maybe he took advantage of that a little sometimes. 

 

_we'll get to tomorrow._

 

He took a longer swig of whiskey. It burnt in the most delightful way. Venom's tongue shot out from somewhere in the 'hood' he'd formed over Eddie's head and stole a taste of the whiskey while the bottle was open. Eddie frowned but chuckled a little.

 

**bed?**

 

Eddie sighed. He grabbed his phone from a little side-table where it sat, charging. 2.46am. 

 

_maybe._

 

He could feel Venom tugging him in the direction of his bed, still wrapped around him like a hoodie but also clinging to the floor and gently pulling. 

 

_fine._

 

They stood, Venom choosing to drape over Eddie's back like a cape as he took the 8 steps it took to get to bed. He flopped into it, face first, whiskey bottle still grasped tightly in his right fist. Venom moved from Eddie's back and re-formed into his best humanoid form. He lay next to Eddie, watching him. Eddie could sense his gaze and turned his head to look at him. Big bright eyes in a shiny pitch black face, wide mouth filled with impossibly sharp teeth. Eddie wondered if he was the only person this image would bring comfort to. He shuffled closer to Venom, who immediately grabbed him and pulled him close, holding him tight in huge strong arms. Eddie took a deep, calm breath. 

 

**safe eddie. sleep now.**

 

_thanks, Venom. love you._

 

He didn't even think about it. Venom didn't say anything in response but gripped Eddie as tight as he could until he was asleep, no more than ten minutes later. 

 


	2. glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie has an episode. venom can't let him get hurt. 
> 
> content warnings for blood, breakdowns, self harm, aggressive displays of self loathing

As Eddie’s fist broke through the glass in his coffee table, he questioned why he, or anyone else, allowed him to buy glass furniture in the first place. He was pretty sure he bought it to take photos of the local stray cats’ bellies when they came to lay on his table. It turned out they preferred the carpet.

The silence after the glass fell sparked a fury in Eddie’s stomach that he didn’t even understand, but he’d never been the type to examine his feelings before acting on them; so he took his bloody fists to the next solid surface, yelling as he smashed into the wall. His bare feet dragged through the glass, tears streaming down his face and into his mouth. He stopped for a second, slumped against the wall.

In the quiet, he took as deep a breath as he could, listening to the sounds of the city around him. A child crying somewhere else in the apartment block, the endless stream of cars and emergency vehicles like a city-sized merry go round, and closer, louder, his own breath, the crackling of the glass under his feet, the dripping bathroom tap that he’d been meaning to call someone about for 6 months. 

As the quiet smothered him, the air thick and hot, he felt breath by his ear, something heavy resting on his shoulder. It was like he’d been asleep ’til now.

 

He snorted back the snot in his nose and spat, aiming for an ashtray that was far too distant for him to actually hit. Took a breath. Took another breath. Closed his eyes.

 

_what do you want?_

 

No response, but whatever Venom felt, Eddie felt. He wasn’t sure if it worked the same the other way round, but he knew Venom knew when something was wrong. He knew Venom knew something was wrong.

 

_dude, really. it’s not the fucking time._

 

He felt the heaviness spread across his shoulders, weighing him down. Gravity an all-encompassing force, all of a sudden. He let his legs collapse under him, his butt hitting the ground with full force, shooting a surprising amount of pain into his bony hips.

 

**you shouldn’t hurt yourself.**

 

_no shit._

 

He could feel it bubbling inside his chest again, the rage, the sadness, the sickness, fucking fatigue. How many times would he have to sink this low? How many times would people tell him what he already knew? How many fucking times?

Suddenly his fists were flying and the tears were streaming again, noises he couldn’t control pouring from him as he ground his knuckles into broken glass.

 

**_EDDIE._ **

 

Neither of them were sure who was talking, neither of them were sure where the control lay, but Eddie’s breaths were fluttering out of him uncontrollably, his eyes tight shut and streaming. Grind the knuckles into the glass, hear the crunch, feel the sting, grind, crunch, sting, bleed, grind, crunch -

 

a thick, strong hand wrapped around his left wrist, yanking his fist up off the ground. Then the same on his right. Eddie did not open his eyes.

 

**you shouldn’t HURT yourself.**

 

_i’m not trying to, like… i don’t fucking know, i don’t know what i’m doing,_

 

The hands around his wrists tightened, almost painful.

 

**i need you.**

 

Eddie did not say or think anything for a solid minute. He sat, eyes closed, blank.

 

_you don’t need me, V, we both know that._

 

**without you, i die. without you, i am lost.**

 

Finally, silently, Eddie opened his eyes. Venom had made himself large, but not imposing. Big enough that Eddie knew he could straight up pin him down until he calmed down if necessary. He was still crying. At this point in the day it was his default. He looked down at his loosely clenched fists, at Venom’s fingers around his dirty, scarred arms.

 

_i don’t know how to stop this feeling._

 

**maybe you can’t. but i can stop you being dumb.**

 

Eddie glared at him, a smirk threatening his stoic expression.

 

_will you let go of me, now?_

 

**if you stop. clean. sleep.**

 

_clean? you actually think i’m going to clean?_

 

**i thought it was worth a try.**

 

They sat, watching one another, for a moment, before Venom let go of Eddie’s arms. He let them flop down to his side, loosely.

 

_i’ll wash the glass off my hands. that’s all you’re getting._

 

Venom found his way to the bathroom in a couple of seconds, collapsing into something like a liquid and rolling into the bathtub where he sat waiting patiently for Eddie. He took a few minutes to limp to the bathroom, having forgotten the glass in his feet and knees, leaving flecks of blood all over his carpet and bathroom tiles. He wondered whether he’d ever get his deposit back.

Blowing his nose on his sleeve, he turned the broken tap, shoved the plug into the sink, and let it fill up with luke warm water. He could feel Venom’s eyes on him the whole time. Neither of them said anything.

As his blood mixed with the water, small pieces of skin tearing away from his knuckles, he hissed out in pain.

 

**i told you you shouldn’t hurt yourself.**

 

_yeah, i know, dumbass._

 

Venom sunk down in the bath, as though he felt the pain in Eddie’s heart. He watched as Eddie rubbed the glass out of his hands, patted them down on a white towel, tried to rinse his feet off, got blood on just about everything in the bathroom.

 

**it’s okay really. you aren’t bad, eddie.**

 

_no, it’s dumb. i know._

 

**it’s okay to feel bad. but i won’t let you stay that way.**

 

Eddie sighed. As much of an irritating, invasive, dick as Venom could be, they both knew they needed each other. Every time Eddie had an… Episode, as his family were fond of calling them, he would spiral and spiral until something or someone made him stop. To have Venom in his head, in his body, in every part of his life, all the time, meant he could never escape the voice telling him to stop. Telling him he needed to be alive. Telling him he needed to take care. And he needed that.

 

He didn’t look in the mirror and didn’t take the plug out of the sink. Wrapped a towel around each hand and started towards his bedroom.

 

_don’t get all friendly on me now, V._

 

It was far too late. Venom could feel him smiling. He wrapped himself around Eddie’s arm like a snake, tight and warm.

 

**i wouldn’t dream of it.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having a rough night so i wrote this as some kind of self-indulgent self care. i think it helped. happy new year


End file.
